The Documentations of Mummy Rabbit

Hello world. This is a transcript of Jack and I rapping last night. It’s hilarious but goes on a bit so the funniest bits are in bold. Italics is me and plain is Jack.

Lol.

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty had a great fall All the Kings horses and all the.. No no no No no no no no no no He got back up cause he was only a boiled egg They didn’t scramble him or nothing of that shit So he got back up cause he was a boiled egg And he cracked his head off And they dipped soilders in his head And he sat on my face again And yeah, he sat on Vicki’s face.. What a twat And then, and then Soilders dipped their soilder things in his head And he said ‘Have some of my yolk cause I’m really yummy’ Humpty Dumpty.. So I don’t know what to do I’m gonna fuck you over cause I taste like poo I don’t know what I’m going to do Cause I’m with myself cause I’m you [wft Jack?] Yeah yeah you you you you you you You mother fucker Right, let’s get a word. Robyn, word. NOW Strawberry, borberry ,what we gonna do? We gonna Strawberry doesn’t rhyme, with the word poo We’re back on poo! How’d we do it? I don’t know how we did it Strawberry rhymes with raspberry so there And all I’m gonna say is that I’m not a square Square, square isn’t really a circle Circle rhymes with berkle OH MY GOD There is Gay sex on the TV Look at him spank that arse It’s rather sexy You did pretty well there, sorry but I can’t rhyme with that Can’t rhyme with that He took a shat WHY IS EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE TO DO WITH POO?! Poo Poo don’t know what to do Vicki is obsessed with the excretion All that I can say is that she’s a bit of a mission I come out with her To the pub And all I can say is that she’s… A rubber dub dub? A rubber dub dub.. Nice one Vicki. And then I get hammered With her cause she’s a legend And then it’s like Vicki I think you are a pledgend I don’t know what to say But then at the end of the day It’s like ‘Who’s gonna pay?’ I think that I’m a bit like Eminiem Suck my dick cause.. ..Well I dunno how to rhyme with that them, That was a rhyme that Jack couldn’t think of Of That rhymes a bit like dove That doesn’t have anything to do with poo But that’s alright cause I’m not rapping about poo anymore Anymore.. Let’s hit the floor Hit the floor like a bomb. That’s done Done doesn’t really rhyme with bomb But that’s alright cause Jack’s fucked and wants to rhyme some more Jack’s in my crotch [WHAT?!] That’s a bit of a dotch Dotch’s not a word But let’s create a meaning Meaning.. Feeling.. What’s on the ceiling? Feeling, feeling *starts cackling* I’m gonna try and think of a rhyme but I don’t think I can Because I just went to ask Elsa for a.. Cheese and ham A cheese and hamburger But she was like ‘We’re not serving anymore’ So I go ‘Well you’re such a fucking fat whore’ [Jack! You ass!] And she was like, you know ‘Well I’ll give you a ham and cheese roll’ So I was like ‘Yeah, Come on let’s bowl’ So I’m waiting here now for my ham and cheese sandwich And she’s like ‘Yeah, I love you…’ ’Bamwich’ Yeah! Bamwich isn’t a word Bird, Bird’s not a word But that’s alright Right.. Dyke You’re a bit of a dyke Ted’s a bit of a dyke, he looks like a bit of a girl [Er, guys… who’s Ted?] Girl, slirl, swirl, twirl like a girl, Still a bit of a girl Have a bit of a Cadbury’s TWIRL Twirl, that’s a bit of a word [Well done Vicki] God I’d puke if I ate one of those Those, hoes, gimmie them hoes Down on the.. dizzle Dizzle Rizzle Rizzle dizzle dizzle rizzle That’s a bit like guitar hero When it gets a bit fast and you’ve gota go BLUE ORANGE BLUE ORANGE BLUE ORANGE Fuck me, I need a life Life.. Wife Let’s get a wife! Fuck me the phone fell on the floor Floor.. Door.. What we gonna do? Do Do.. Do rhymes with poo [Fucking hell we’re only 4 and a half mins into this] Fuck! We’re back on the poo Poo.. Shoe… Back to Jack I’m really drunk.. [Well put Butterfly.] Drunk.. Flunk… ELSA! Talk to the phone, it’s recording.. Say something loving Else just nodded at me A bit like a tree Tree’s nod. Gimmie a bit of that We’re still rapping But we’re not tapping Tapping would be gay *skipping that* Boys are toys Toys are boys Boys toys boys toys Floys! Floy’s not a word Let’s think of a word I’m rapping with my mouth full God I’m sexy I’m gonna pass you back to Jack While I eat something that.. Rhymes with sexy. I’ve got a really nice sandwich what’ve you got? Nothing. That was the worlds shittest rap. I want that sandwich Ba-bamwich Robyn can rap! Let’s pass you to her! Robyn’s ignoring me. Let’s pass you to Jake Jake the Blake.. I wish I could rhyme.. I hate Dan, Dan can die Die like a pie Now he’s looking at me so I look like a bit of a cock Cock rhymes with rock Calpe rock. That’s a rock in Calpe, funny that. That, shat. Jack looks like he’s dying He can’t die, we’ve got to walk home first I’m basically Superman but you call me Pooperman And if you know what Then I’m fucking hot And if I’m a cot That means I’m a baby But if you call me a baby Then I’ll call you Slim Shady And if I call you ‘Shmim Shmady’ Then you might as well be dead Cause I’m harder than that That’s all was said I don’t know what the last word was but I’m eating this sandwich Sandwich doesn’t actually rhyme with.. Oh my god someone just hit me Me.. Shmee. Shmee from Peter Pan You know what rhymes with Pan? Dan. Dan’s a fucker. Fucker bu Bucker Du Ducker Duck! Let’s go with duck! I’m still rapping with my mouth full. Dead air, what we gonna do? Air.. Bear.. Let’s go with bear Sweaty Albert’s a bear Where the fuck did he go? Go.. Shmo He’s over there There.. Hair Jack’s hair is really quite awesome There you go I can pass you over cause I don’t know what to say. She don’t know what to say But now she’s eating my burger so now she’s gonna pay I don’t know how to carry on but.. But.. she’s a bit of a twat. Ahhh haaaa [At this point I think I put the burger in my bra.] Where’s my burger gone? The burger is g-gone Gone gone.. where’s it gone? I found the burger.. It was down my bra [There we go] Bra. Dar… Car.. Lets get a car so we can rap some more Jack’s still eating that burger That’s quite gross That’s been down my cleavage Ba-beabage What the fuck rhymes with ba-beabage [What the fuck IS a ba-beabage?!] Ba-beabage.. sha-sheabage.. Shashish! Shashish is crap Feed.. Feed me Jack! Gimmie the fucking burger Burger ShaSurger Fuck you! You shmoo.. don’t know what to do If I go back to poo I’m gonna kill myself. Myself.. Dadelf Elf! Are irish men elf? No! They’re leprecauns. Leprecauns… Porn Let’s go to porn. Alphaporn? Alphaporn! Alphaporn sounds a bit like alphabet Bet.. Shmet.. Debt Debt is fucked. England’s in debt. Debt.. Ba bet… Let’s pass you back to Jack What am I rhyming with? Hello?.. Hello? You what? Jack! The phone is backwards! Backwards?.. Hello? Hello? Who am I talking to? Jack… Butterfly.. It’s a recording Oh! Hello recording.. How are you? Yeah I’m not bad thanks.. Yeah I’m good I’m good Well I’ve been in the pub for.. Wait.. I’ve been in the pub for like.. You know.. Yeah Yeach, Richards falling asleep cause he’s a bit of a pussy hole Look, I should probably go cause I’ve finished my drink You know I’d love to stay and have a drink with you Look, Look you know I can’t stay for a drink.. Don’t do this to me.. Yeah Yeah, no I’ll defiantly see you next week Yeah… No you hang up.. No You hang up No, You hang up Alright then I’ll hang up. Fuck you. =] I’m never going back. Hello world. This is a transcript of Jack and I rapping last night. It’s hilarious but goes on a bit so the funniest bits are in bold. Italics is me and plain is Jack. Lol. Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty had a great fall All the Kings horses and all the.. No no no No no no no no no no He got back up cause he was only a boiled egg They didn’t scramble him or nothing of that shit So he got back up cause he was a boiled egg And he cracked his head off And they dipped soilders in his head And he sat on my face again And yeah, he sat on Vicki’s face.. What a twat And then, and then Soilders dipped their soilder things in his head And he said ‘Have some of my yolk cause I’m really yummy’ Humpty Dumpty.. So I don’t know what to do I’m gonna fuck you over cause I taste like poo I don’t know what I’m going to do Cause I’m with myself cause I’m you [wft Jack?] Yeah yeah you you you you you you You mother fucker Right, let’s get a word. Robyn, word. NOW Strawberry, borberry ,what we gonna do? We gonna Strawberry doesn’t rhyme, with the word poo We’re back on poo! How’d we do it? I don’t know how we did it Strawberry rhymes with raspberry so there And all I’m gonna say is that I’m not a square Square, square isn’t really a circle Circle rhymes with berkle OH MY GOD There is Gay sex on the TV Look at him spank that arse It’s rather sexy You did pretty well there, sorry but I can’t rhyme with that Can’t rhyme with that He took a shat WHY IS EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE TO DO WITH POO?! Poo Poo don’t know what to do Vicki is obsessed with the excretion All that I can say is that she’s a bit of a mission I come out with her To the pub And all I can say is that she’s… A rubber dub dub? A rubber dub dub.. Nice one Vicki. And then I get hammered With her cause she’s a legend And then it’s like Vicki I think you are a pledgend I don’t know what to say But then at the end of the day It’s like ‘Who’s gonna pay?’ I think that I’m a bit like Eminiem Suck my dick cause.. ..Well I dunno how to rhyme with that them, That was a rhyme that Jack couldn’t think of Of That rhymes a bit like dove That doesn’t have anything to do with poo But that’s alright cause I’m not rapping about poo anymore Anymore.. Let’s hit the floor Hit the floor like a bomb. That’s done Done doesn’t really rhyme with bomb But that’s alright cause Jack’s fucked and wants to rhyme some more Jack’s in my crotch [WHAT?!] That’s a bit of a dotch Dotch’s not a word But let’s create a meaning Meaning.. Feeling.. What’s on the ceiling? Feeling, feeling *starts cackling* I’m gonna try and think of a rhyme but I don’t think I can Because I just went to ask Elsa for a.. Cheese and ham A cheese and hamburger But she was like ‘We’re not serving anymore’ So I go ‘Well you’re such a fucking fat whore’ [Jack! You ass!] And she was like, you know ‘Well I’ll give you a ham and cheese roll’ So I was like ‘Yeah, Come on let’s bowl’ So I’m waiting here now for my ham and cheese sandwich And she’s like ‘Yeah, I love you…’ ’Bamwich’ Yeah! Bamwich isn’t a word Bird, Bird’s not a word But that’s alright Right.. Dyke You’re a bit of a dyke Ted’s a bit of a dyke, he looks like a bit of a girl [Er, guys… who’s Ted?] Girl, slirl, swirl, twirl like a girl, Still a bit of a girl Have a bit of a Cadbury’s TWIRL Twirl, that’s a bit of a word [Well done Vicki] God I’d puke if I ate one of those Those, hoes, gimmie them hoes Down on the.. dizzle Dizzle Rizzle Rizzle dizzle dizzle rizzle That’s a bit like guitar hero When it gets a bit fast and you’ve gota go BLUE ORANGE BLUE ORANGE BLUE ORANGE Fuck me, I need a life Life.. Wife Let’s get a wife! Fuck me the phone fell on the floor Floor.. Door.. What we gonna do? Do Do.. Do rhymes with poo [Fucking hell we’re only 4 and a half mins into this] Fuck! We’re back on the poo Poo.. Shoe… Back to Jack I’m really drunk.. [Well put Butterfly.] Drunk.. Flunk… ELSA! Talk to the phone, it’s recording.. Say something loving Else just nodded at me A bit like a tree Tree’s nod. Gimmie a bit of that We’re still rapping But we’re not tapping Tapping would be gay *skipping that* Boys are toys Toys are boys Boys toys boys toys Floys! Floy’s not a word Let’s think of a word I’m rapping with my mouth full God I’m sexy I’m gonna pass you back to Jack While I eat something that.. Rhymes with sexy. I’ve got a really nice sandwich what’ve you got? Nothing. That was the worlds shittest rap. I want that sandwich Ba-bamwich Robyn can rap! Let’s pass you to her! Robyn’s ignoring me. Let’s pass you to Jake Jake the Blake.. I wish I could rhyme.. I hate Dan, Dan can die Die like a pie Now he’s looking at me so I look like a bit of a cock Cock rhymes with rock Calpe rock. That’s a rock in Calpe, funny that. That, shat. Jack looks like he’s dying He can’t die, we’ve got to walk home first I’m basically Superman but you call me Pooperman And if you know what Then I’m fucking hot And if I’m a cot That means I’m a baby But if you call me a baby Then I’ll call you Slim Shady And if I call you ‘Shmim Shmady’ Then you might as well be dead Cause I’m harder than that That’s all was said I don’t know what the last word was but I’m eating this sandwich Sandwich doesn’t actually rhyme with.. Oh my god someone just hit me Me.. Shmee. Shmee from Peter Pan You know what rhymes with Pan? Dan. Dan’s a fucker. Fucker bu Bucker Du Ducker Duck! Let’s go with duck! I’m still rapping with my mouth full. Dead air, what we gonna do? Air.. Bear.. Let’s go with bear Sweaty Albert’s a bear Where the fuck did he go? Go.. Shmo He’s over there There.. Hair Jack’s hair is really quite awesome There you go I can pass you over cause I don’t know what to say. She don’t know what to say But now she’s eating my burger so now she’s gonna pay I don’t know how to carry on but.. But.. she’s a bit of a twat. Ahhh haaaa [At this point I think I put the burger in my bra.] Where’s my burger gone? The burger is g-gone Gone gone.. where’s it gone? I found the burger.. It was down my bra [There we go] Bra. Dar… Car.. Lets get a car so we can rap some more Jack’s still eating that burger That’s quite gross That’s been down my cleavage Ba-beabage What the fuck rhymes with ba-beabage [What the fuck IS a ba-beabage?!] Ba-beabage.. sha-sheabage.. Shashish! Shashish is crap Feed.. Feed me Jack! Gimmie the fucking burger Burger ShaSurger Fuck you! You shmoo.. don’t know what to do If I go back to poo I’m gonna kill myself. Myself.. Dadelf Elf! Are irish men elf? No! They’re leprecauns. Leprecauns… Porn Let’s go to porn. Alphaporn? Alphaporn! Alphaporn sounds a bit like alphabet Bet.. Shmet.. Debt Debt is fucked. England’s in debt. Debt.. Ba bet… Let’s pass you back to Jack What am I rhyming with? Hello?.. Hello? You what? Jack! The phone is backwards! Backwards?.. Hello? Hello? Who am I talking to? Jack… Butterfly.. It’s a recording
Oh! Hello recording.. How are you? Yeah I’m not bad thanks.. Yeah I’m good I’m good Well I’ve been in the pub for.. Wait.. I’ve been in the pub for like.. You know.. Yeah Yeach, Richards falling asleep cause he’s a bit of a pussy hole Look, I should probably go cause I’ve finished my drink You know I’d love to stay and have a drink with you Look, Look you know I can’t stay for a drink.. Don’t do this to me.. Yeah Yeah, no I’ll defiantly see you next week Yeah… No you hang up.. No You hang up No, You hang up Alright then I’ll hang up. Fuck you. =] I’m never going back.

Ask about overhead projector for wall painting Bresson documentary series on uni life, skating - talk to people about ideas. Tori, Facebook shots, yotoria